Featherlight

I mentioned that I was feeling better. I think the word that describes it best is light. I write when I’m down, when it’s tough, when I hurt, when it seems all shades of grey, so of course I'll write when it feels like spring, when I smile, when I laugh. My 'resting bitch face' now often holds a semi-hidden smile, a sudden outburst of crazy or just a soft chuckle, even if it's just for my ears only. Life is not perfect, nor easy or any less tiring that it was say a week, a month or six months ago but “that is just the way it is”.  That thought makes me smile where it used to make me cringe. No  life-changing incident (though slamming into the guard-rail on both sides of the highway at high speed will help you slow down and live the moment..) that sparked a change.

I wish I could say ‘if you do this, you well instantly feel amazing” but I’m no snake oil charmer. I simply try. I try when I don’t want to, when I have no idea where to gather the strength and when I have no idea why. I am lucky to have a daughter and a son. The first I refer to as my heart because she is the sweetest person I know, always ready for a hug, a cuddle, a snuggle and reads my feelings like a book and my baby as my soul because we are so alike and spend each Monday wrapped up in each other like peas in a snug two-person pod. It’s hard to wallow with the cries of ‘ma-maaa’ ringing through the air. For them I  have little surprises ready, made meals a beautiful affair and bedtime a personalised happy moment. Despite all the moments where I’m looking for the wallpaper paste (Dutchies know which saying I’m referencing), their smiles, giggles and kisses were my reason and a damn good one at that. Kids are  fresh and innocent and oh so funny. When they laugh, I laugh and when I laugh they do too and for that moment everything is beautiful.

I went for my usual Wednesday run last week but on a new path and the morning mist seemed as beautiful as a puffy cloud on a carefree, sunny summer’s afternoon. I snapped some pictures because it felt like I'd never seen mist or trees or even fields before. While I always did my best to make great meals for my kids, it was a chore to get done where cooking used to be a joy. Recently I started to feel that joy again, even in hamburgers and pitas (amazing burger if I do say so myself). When I cook, I go for flavor, don’t follow recipes, simply try, create, be free. I feel that again and started a list again in my phone of the dishes that appear in front of my eyes to turn from mental picture to real meal. And not just for the kids (heck, they won’t try half of it) but for me as well. For the sheer pleasure that being unhampered by doubt or fear gives me. Odd but standing in my kitchen makes me feel like a bird, not a pigeon but an eagle, soaring above mostly me, because it’s my doubt, my fear that I leave behind. When I’m at power yoga or with my run group, I’m still serious about doing the work but find I go to smile, laugh and talk as well. If wrinkles are unstoppable, let them be laugh lines. 

The last thing that made me realise I feel freer, happier, lighter; sleep. It is getting warmer but I no longer toss and turn and awake sweating and  more tired than the night before. I get up bleary-eyed but more powder fresh than sauna sweaty. Most importantly though I simply sleep and when I sleep I dream. Bad dreams and nightmares less and less to the point of a distant memory but good dreams, happy dreams. One dream spilt over into daydream recently. A cheesy, supermarket-romance worthy love-story cast in battle-time between a general.. forget about it, too tacky for details but for me to have frivolous thoughts much cheeky ones has been so long. To daydream means I’m in a good place and the content means I found a door that I’d forgotten. I may or may not open it sometime soon but I know it’s there and that’s what matters right now.

I live today. Each day is new, fresh and full of promise and it is up to me to see the beauty. When I look at my daughter’s face, I think it the most beautiful little girls face on the planet. When my son laughs, I think there is no more beautiful a sound. When I look at myself, I think I am beautiful, inside out as one. When I look at the flowers I fill my home with, I wonder how a single bloom can be so beautiful. When I think of the pain I felt and how ugly it seemed, I think it too a beautiful experience. Not always easy to see, but there is beauty in everything. This blog, this life, this person, it always was and will always be about beauty. About looking for it. It elevates. Light as a feather, not fighting against but floating with the wind, simply drifting high enough to see the beauty and close enough to stretch out my hand, reach it and be part of it.. Namasté.

 P.S. the feathers are part of an addition for the kids arts wall, simply because there is more room for beauty..

Californication living

I spotted this home on Est Magazine, which is a favourite of mine and swooned. This makes me want to start drinking green smoothies and munching on kale ("boerenkool") chips and chia seeds if it means living in this California dream pad.

This home is not on the hill but built into it. The private spaces are below, giving the living spaces the best views because that is what this design is about. The living space is one giant rectangle of glass and completely open on all sides, making the high tree branches seem only a hand length away. Can't decide if you want to live in a tree house or nestled into the rocks? Then this place is your best bet because it is both and eco-friendly! And with an interior as simple yet stunning as the architecture there are no downsides..except maybe having your car die and having to hoof it down the hill but what are the chances of that happening?

See more of the home and other inspiring projects from Jensen Architects. 

Carte blanche

Some tasks you start and never finish. Such a task for me is dealing with business cards. Probably because I dislike business cards. I often decide to just not hand them out at business meetings. It feels a bit pretentious and too much like self-marketing, which just seems wrong when it comes to myself somehow. I wholeheartedly like cards for others and collect them for spots and brands I think rock. I just can’t quite grasp the idea of handing out mine in return and so I still have a pretty full box of my work card several years later. 

But since it's better to be prepared I designed a simple card for the blog about a year ago but never printed them. I finally decided to commit to print. Contained in an equally minimal leather envelope cardholder which goes perfectly with the design for my updated workspace.

Tick Tock Tick

One of the interiors accessories of my childhood home that made me question and laugh regarding my parents interior taste..a wooden, highly-lacquered clock in the shape of Florida with hand painted key tourist points including a gator farm. I still don't what exactly would make you purchase such ahem piece but I know find myself longing for the familiar ticking sound. With a more pleasing aesthetic but still the same principals of robust materials, unique and cheek. Add to that modernity, fun twist, timelessness and robust vs. delicate elegance and you have my dream clocks. And here is a round-of of exactly that.

Leather and ceramic beauty Horamur from Jaime Hayon. Darkest midnight offset with two interchangeable arrows Concreto from Puik Art. Menu does timeless minimalism like it's nobody's business and this marble clock proofs it. Authenticity and design at it best in the Base Clock from Kranen/Gille. Solid and simple is the name of the game with the Table Clock from Nooo. Simple and subtle is the Moak from Studio PS. The catalyst for my time love the absolute and all-round softness of the unglazed porcelain and feathered Vederlicht. 

Grill it, stuff it, flip it, eat it

I originally titled this post overeasy or sunnyside but since runny eggs are another phobia of mine..20 facts about me is just not enough to cover the full scale of weird, I opted for a name I can deal with.

I used to love cooking, trying different things or reliving and re-inventing old favourites, basically doing whatever my tummy fancied. And I know I feel better deeper down because I find joy in that again but more about that at the weekend. For now, I just felt like eggs and bread for dinner. Odd because A. I am not big on eggs. B. it's typically breakfast fare. Yet let me tell you, three hours later and I'm still stuffed on this 'light morning' fare.

Because a boiled egg just will not do, I made an omelette stuffed with grilled portabello mushroom and parmesan cheese. Accompanied by a pre-baked baguette stuffed with creamy butter, more parmesan, sprigs of thyme and dusted with sea salt, white pepper and drizzled with olive oil rich enough to use as dressing. My entire ground floor was cloudy after grilling those shrooms but worth it because it brings out a great smoky flavour in those meaty babies. The grill juices went straight into the eggs, taking away from the yellow colour (a definite plus in my book) and upping the overall impact because I'm all about the bass/flavour. A drizzle of olive oil over the stuffing and a quick flash under the oven grill to set the eggs, a flip shut and we're done. Dusted with my favourite himalayan salt and a few extra sprigs of thyme and dinner was served..

Schedule

This week the schedule is just the way I like; eclectic and gut-based. On odd-ball mash-up of all the things that get my juices flowing..

• Starting with some eats, because literally it's your fuel and nothing makes me more balanced than working in my kitchen.
• What's a week without beautiful design? This time a collection of timepieces to help or not help with my time obsession.
• & because better late than never, the card post from last week's schedule.
• Every spy a place and think "yes, my dream home, now how to foot the bill".
• And a little weekend thoughts post because I feel light and that is worth celebrating (plus it was a double birthday week).

The picture is one of many little viewscapes in my room. Feminine & soft and I love it.

Walk the line

Zoe Isobel’s room is finally complete as an indoor kids gym and play area. The balance beam I wanted for her room has been sold out for months. I checked the Ikea app daily and one day there was one in stock. Called the automated service just in case and it said none in stock, in any of the Dutch stores. I thought enough is enough, I’m going to take the risk and order it instead. Lo and behold one was delivered to my home! All that waiting and all I had to was have someone else transport it home. 

But that was just the beginning because I despised the red and white block pattern and so it was always destined for a facelift, fresh out of the box or not. I talked about it with the owner who gently (not so much) reminded me that nothing beats pink. We aim to please, so pink it is. In varying shades of pink, so the beam echoes the shading in the gymnastics mat. 

Ready, set, go! It is time to walk the line..gulp.

Lush

The Ikea Sinnerlig collection by Ilse Crawford has been on just about every blog and website because it’s deserves to be. I find it just as inspiring as others. In fact it is has me inspired me to take the lush planting I like so much indoors outside this spring. 

I posted my inspiration for my garden here and absolutely love the modernity and fun of it. But I now crave the lush and the green. So time to mix the two together, tone down the harder minimal lines with softer more comfortable seating, natural materials, raw linens and oh yes cork;

• My eye is on that bench because I love sitting slouch style with tons of cushions for propping.
• The bottles with cork tops mixed in with tea lights and candles would be a great budget version of my inspiration nesting doll tablescape. 
• I had been planning on weaving rope between the slats of my garden fencing but now feel that it should be natural instead of black rope. 
• And of course more plants, lush clustered groupings of them, next to and on the different (side) tables.

Bake it, whip it, eat it

One of the first things I baked way back in the wood-oven days of my youth was a cherry clafoutis. Okay, so feeling a wee bit of pressure turning 3? this week but really it was one of the first baking go's. I remember how simple and easy it was. Light but also quite rich due to all those eggs. I have made it a few times since but not for years and so I figured since ‘there is no school like the old-school’ time to bring back the baking memories. But with a grown-up twist.

I wanted something to break up the softness of the baked fruit and custard. A splash of brandy takes it miles away from the realms of baked breakfast custard. But it was not just about the sweetness but also giving it a literal bite. Almonds and cherries go great together but I wanted something more. I opted for pistachios. The crunchy salty bits of green are a great contrast and with each slice topped with a piece of pistachio and Himalayan salt brittle it’s near perfect. Near because there is always room for cream. A dollop of vanilla bean specked hand-whipped cream to help you wipe the last bit of custard goodness of the plate or your chin..