Golden bird

Maybe it's my new found love for gold, the fact that I just watched a bit of my childhood favourite Charlie and the chocolate factory or that I received this birdie in black on Christmas morning, but who's cares why? I freaking love this golden goose, I mean crow, I mean house bird. This gold bird is one of only twelve in the Netherlands. Covered in 23 carat gold leaf by a gold smith, it's ime to get saving...

Quiet and still..not a creature was stirring

The last of the Christmas pictures, I promise, scout's honour. I was so restless on the morning of Christmas eve that I got up way before dawn. Since I didn't want to disturb anyone still asleep and ahem snoring, I did my meditation downstairs, which made it easier to appreciate the blissful and happy.

Festive family of jumpers..

These are by far not the perfect family Christmas pictures. Despite my deepest desire of a Christmas card perfect family pic, these slightly goofball, imperfect ones are hands down my favourite. They capture us and our personality and that's the way it is. Mika's pouty look is as indicative of him as is his smile, plus he is just too cool for school or in this case..Family Christmas pics!

Christmas table

Despite it only being the 28th, it feels like Christmas is done and dusted. So what better way to cheer myself up than to look at the pictures and think of the memories we created. Plus I've been itching to show you the amazeballs personalised placemats that I eagerly ordered way back in October!

P.S. the second best thing is thinking about the New Year's table..

Prepped and ready

There is nothing like the sweet stress of getting prepped and ready for Christmas. Cookies, check. Turkey, check. Black cake, check.

What's black cake? Well it's one of my strongest Christmas food memories from growing up Caribbean. A moist, ultra boozy, slice of nap-inducing rum cake. My batch of rum-soaked fruits have been doing just that since last Christmas. Just one more dousing left before it's ready. And now I'm off to the shops to get prepped for next year's cake..

"Oh denneboom"

I couldn't resist a few more pictures of home at the Holidays.. let the countdown commence!

Christmas table

Christmas means mostly winter wonderland to me. With pretty much all the decorations, from tree to table, being white. Yet, I seem to be gravitating to updated classics..marble, copper, gold and brass but with a paired-back aesthetic.

Golden straws, brass measuring cup from Ferm living. Cake server Stone by Tom Dixon, silver imperfect plates, stone platter Neu, titanium gold cutlery and spice grinder Stone.

Most..

 

Apparently sleeplessness, even if mostly due to a huge dinner and major heartburn, makes me want to get up and write, exercising my demons if you will...

Earlier in the week by daughter said something that kept nagging me. Since the day she was born, I tell her I love her every time I tuck her in. So five plus years later, I figured it was pretty much settled. So when she said but you 'love Mark the most', it hit me hard, despite the giggles with which it was said. At the time I told her that I love her, her brother and yes Mark and that of all three, it is with her I have the longest bond.

Not a fib in anyway. But I love her, because she is my little girl, because she gave my tiger stripes but mostly because of her. How she rather watch me do my hair than watch morning cartoons with Mika. How she gleefully and excitedly jumped for joy when they was finally something under the tree for me. How many hugs and kisses she dolls out on a daily basis. How could I not love her. But the niggling about the most continued to bother me. The Most?

I remember, way before I had kids, seeing a piece about a mom stating that she indeed loved her partner most. Man, the backlash and hateful response but I still remember thinking 'duh, of course'. That never changed, even after becoming a mom myself. Rooted in me is the idea that my relationship should be the best example my kids can have. That it should spill over and carry us all. I never thought differently and that is saying alot after a divorce that was far more painful than angry. I did however feel I could never allow myself to feel that way because it now just wouldn't be fair to them.

How funny is life? My five year old knows. When we have movie night and that means loads of Disney, she looks at us and matter-of-factly stats that we too will get married. Or just simply in the middle of the afternoon, doing nothing in particular, comes 'mama is the queen and Mark is the king'. I usually just giggle it off as the innocent fairy tale dreams of my little princess. But yet that one comment at bedtime made me remember. Forgotten, hidden, unspoken, it is simply lived.

The most..my heart is the most open, soft and large it has ever been.

Christmas home

I love, love, love Christmas and that includes the decorating. The tree, the gifts, a homemade wreath and the sweet smell of pine, hyacinth and amaryllis. This year both kids were so excited to decorate, that they even did the hallway themselves with very little help. I can't with the for the actual day, with the table decked out and laden with more food than the four of us can eat! But for now, you get the picture.. of our home at Christmas.

Speak to me

I have been on the lookout for a stylish, minimal and affordable speaker. Something unobtrusive that fits neatly in my living space. That means, sorry boys, no big, bulky man-cave equipment. So something small, well-designed and if possible even a bit pretty. Being able to move it around, say for a relaxing wash or romantic night in, would be a definitie bonus.

It's got to be the Arina wireless speaker from Muemma! It's a bluetooth speaker and charging station. Perfect because I listen to music exclusively from my iPhone and that means multiple daily charging. Because it's cordless (10 hours playtime) and mountable it can go from room to room, wheter hung from the wall or resting on a table. With 360° sound and deep bass, it's ideal for the beat-crazies like myself. The fact that it even comes with interchangeable felt covers, has me sold.

If you can't tell, I'm really excited to give this a go..I'm thinking early birthday present to my self!

Festive jumpers..

Christmas sweaters are so wrong they're right. I am determined to kit us out like a Christmas card..and take a Christmas card style family picture. The jumpers, and yes his lights up, are for us. The littlest one get the Santa hat and mini-me the antlers..plus their very own fun and festive jumpers!

The rehearsal

With our schedule we have one slow, leisurely, unhurried breakfast together a month and so we treasure it and try and make it special. This being the holiday season I figured why not do a dry run for Christmas morning? The cinnamon buns with rum glaze and scones with clotted cream are the undisputed Christmas breakfast champions. With the caramel dotted meringues and homemade cinnamon run hot chocolate coming in second! Just a few (personalised) tweaks to the Holiday table, including more eats, and we're ready for Christmas morning.

Ice queen

I haven't written in awhile. I figured because I had nothing much to say but now I think it's because I felt ashamed. Ashamed at how ridiculously happy I was for the most mundane of things. A kiss at five am, a good morning text at seven, a gentle hug at six or squishing four butts on a two butt couch. The thing about sleeplessness is that reluctance, pretence and barriers slip away and that finds my fingers tapping away.

In that way much the same as being an ice queen, It's the nickname that kind of stuck from the first time my partner saw me. My quiet, often and sadly related to the height of my heels and the state of my blow-out, is sometime doubly enforced with either 'you wish' or utter 'righteous indignation'. And though the first feels good, damn good at times, they both leave me cold. Icy, actually. Scared, misunderstood, aloft of saintly, it is all very much alone. And the more alone, the more closed, cold and snooty. It's not peeling back the layers, it is a veritable coal digging expedition.

When I'm confused, upset, lost or mad I retreat. If I can both physically and emotionally. Elsa and Carl Fredricksen (what can I say, I have kids..) ain't got nothing on me when I get going. Just this week I was so determined to be right, I left an ice trail and scared villagers in my wake. The thing is I don't even remember why.

Behind the ice queen is the truest form of me. Molten, soft and vulnerable. It takes alot for a flower to push through the snow and ice. It takes a lot for me to be my purest and most happy. To let my guard down, to communicate, to let both others in and me out. It's what I only now realise I didn't do enough of the first time round. It's also why the ice queen also has the nickname puddle. And that's because the kisses never stop at five am, even when I'm a sourpuss with crossed arms and pursed lips. Because if the text doesn't come by seven, it will be there by eight, funky me or not. Because arms draw me into that hug and hold me there until I'm soft. Because ''I could always see the molten behind the ice, from the first time I saw you". Guess what? I'd rather be a puddle..

Green and curious

In the midst of the Holiday chaos, clutter and stress, these little islands of peaceful green and curious birds are a calming sight.

Naughty

One pic Wednesday because nice is good but cheeky is better!

Blueberry and white chocolate crumble

It's been a busy weekend so I wanted something quick, easy and homey. Nothing fancy, picky or complicated. I was thinking about blueberries and white chocolate this weekend and decided on a freestyle crumble. No definite layers with the fruit on the bottom but mixed spoonfuls of blueberries, white chocolate chunks and buttery topping.

Crumble
250 grams frozen blueberries
5 tablespoons fine white sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
200 grams white chocolate
200 grams patent flour
100 grams fine white sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
200 grams creamed butter
icing sugar

Preheat oven to 200 degrees Celsius. Mixed the thawed berries with the sugar, cornstarch and extracts. Set aside. Roughly chop 180 grams of the white chocolate into small chunks. Pulse the flour, sugar and cinnamon with a pinch of salt. Add the butter in chunks while pulsing till crumbs form. Grease a pie dish and start spooning in the crumb mixture. Loosely top with chocolate. Spoon in berries and repeat. Sprinkle with cinnamon and bake for 25 minutes or until bubbly and golden. Allow to cool on a wire rack. Melt the remaining chocolate with milk till pourable and drizzle over the top. Dust with icing sugar. Best served slightly warmed with an extra drizzle of chocolate.