2015

Rang out 2014. So now it is time to ring in 2015. I have no idea if and how I will celebrate its arrival because despite 2014 leaving me stronger, wiser, sexier and a hell of a lot more independent, I’m more than bone dead tired. Seriously I discovered two steel grey patches of hair that I thought was frost but turned out to be ahem my wisdom marks. So I might just stay horizontal and try and find some physical calm before the new year starts.

For 2015 I have no long list of things I want to do or achieve. Like most, I still have most of the list of 2014 left. Yet there are a few things that seem to be floating around in the back of my noggin. And once that happens, I know what comes next..

• Starting with my running. Running is my release, my passion, my thing. I want to work on my arm and foot placement mostly because I want to stop holding back. I know I can go faster. I want to go faster. And I want to go longer. Funny when I started I told the trainer 3km. I now want to do another a second and third 21km in the first half of the year and the 42km, a full marathon distance in the second. I want my speed closer to my original 12 an hour. I want to burn the path beneath my feet as well as bounce a little closer to the heavens with each step.

• For my power yoga I want to not only learn more complex poses, I want to do them the advanced yogi way. I want to find calm in the most uncomfortable of positions. I want that beautiful, tranquil lotus blossom that I can see to be me, always. To see with my third eye; my true eye, my feeling.

• To get where I want to go with my sport, I need to fuel up and that means eating. I developed poor eating habits after moving out from my parents. God, I used to drive my partner slightly deranged because I'd rather not eat than eat something other than what I craved. But more importantly cooking and meals are the way I show I care. Feeder? Guilty. So not having anyone there half the week, means not only is there is no one to say it  but no to do it for and your body adjusts and rapidly so. For a while I kept thinking I needed to turn meals into a practical situation instead of a care instrument but now I think differently. I need to care for me. I feed my soul, now to feed my body. If I can do what I do on a coffee, just imagine... 

• I want a vacation. I haven’t been away for years and never somewhere truly isolated, always urban. I want to go somewhere peaceful, where I can stretch, meditate and run over the hills, down the paths and towards the beauty of the orange glow of sunrise and the red of the sunset.

• The previous points brings me to number four. The last and most important one. The one that encompasses the other three and everything else; love, baby. What else is there?

• 2014 found me love for myself. Only towards the near end of the year did I become the best thing that ever happened to me. That grey patch doesn’t faze me nor the fact that losing ahem my baby fat makes me look older. Those laugh lines only show I live and I embrace my molehills because I worked for it, everyday. I look at my abs first thing each morning and don’t wince for the pain in my knees at night. I am Lisa, hear me roar and purr, strong and soft. I am amazing as is.

• 2014 also strengthened my belief in kindness and so I give more because others showed me how. And I plan on giving more because I more left to give. I think it is time to volunteer my time as well. Actually I would like to do something with cooking, whether as a volunteer or maybe cooking and sharing a meal with those who don't have even half a week.

• It taught me trueness. Friendship is the foundation and friendship is not so much those you smile with, invite into your home, cook for and share moments with. It is for me true when I can share tears and sadness as well and above all when words are not always needed, when there is sense and feeling.

• The past year brought me a deeper lover for being the mom of my two cubs. They make me mama bear, both ferocious and soft, protective and tender. Their love is my reason, full stop!

• I am passionate about my passions because I am a passionate soul. There is a part of me, deeply centred, all the way to the base and never before unfolded as the person I am now. That person, that strong and soft chick, longs for a soul just as passionate, not afraid nor in disdain, not of a spat, the differences, the similarities or of the depths but revels in the beauty found even in the faults and cracks of which I have plenty. I do not believe in the one, nor even in halves completing. I believe in connection. I want  to connect, soul to soul. My run buddy. If not in silent understanding, to run with towards the sunrise, then the reason to come back from the run. I have a heart bigger than my chest and it broke to its depths but guess what? It now beats harder and louder than ever, so much so I can hear it pounding in my ears. It is full with love for design, art, beauty, discovery, strangers, friends, Zoe Isobel & Mika, for life, love and love of live. So maybe the sayings hold true, it is not breaking, it is only expanding. I believe in hearts, more today than yesterday. More this year than the last. 

My 2015 is my heart expanding till there is nowhere left to go but upwards and outwards. The strongest four letters, one for each number in the year. 2015 is love.This year and every year yet to come. For everyone. Happy New Year!